You involuntarily found yourself holding your breath as the doctor entered the room again. “Well, Miss ___, the tests are in, so I can safely say that yes, you are pregnant.” A million thoughts raced through your mind. Crap. What does this mean? I’m in trouble. I’m not ready to be a Mom. Kris is gonna… “Miss ___?” the doctor said, looking at you with some concern. “You can stop holding your breath now.” You laughed nervously as you let the breath out, mind still racing. This whole baby thing… it wasn’t going to work out very well. Not when Kris found out. Kris was… well, he had the mentality of a kindergartener.
You could still remember the first time you had met him - at your friend’s party. You had been doing your normal thing, minding your own business when a loud war woop sounded from the kitchen and Kris had come running out with a bag of chips and a jar of salsa above his head. “Woooo! Hey! Why didn’t you put this out? This is prime party food, this here is.” “Kris, what drugs have you been doing?” your friend laughed.
“Noooone, I swear,” he answered brightly, grinning like a madman. “I’m clean and sober for… ever! Now I’m eating salsa. Someone else come eat salsa with me.” You thought this kid was crazy, but you hadn’t eaten and you didn’t see any other decent food out, so when no one approached him after a while, you went over. “Hiya!” he said brightly from his perch on the floor - he hadn’t bothered with a table. “Come to eat salsa with me?” “Err… yeah,” you said, sitting awkwardly down and reaching for a chip. “Sweeeeeet!” A few minutes of awkward silence passed, none of which Kris seemed to notice, until he randomly said, “I know, let’s play airplanes!” He dunked his chip in the salsa and zoomed it through the air, making airplane noises.
“Nrrrrrrr! Gnnrrrr! Oh, look out, it’s coming in for a landing, open up!” You raised your eyebrows as he blatantly tried to get you into the game and he burst out laughing at the sight of your face, dropping his chip on the floor. You couldn’t help but laugh too, he was laughing so hard, and when he finally managed to stop himself, he said, “I like you. You’re smart. What’s your name?” You told him, to which he beamed and replied, “My name is Kris. Do you like my hair?” “Uhh… yeah, I do.” Actually, you had been admiring his hair earlier. “See! I knew I liked you! We’re going to be best buddies now.” And it seemed that he meant it, because he followed you like a puppy dog around the party. You were a little annoyed at first, but he kept cracking jokes and doing goofy things, particularly every time you were talking to a guy.
He was too amusing to stay annoyed with for long, so you ended up just hanging with him for the rest of the night. “Hey!” he said towards the end of the party. “Do you like movies?” “Yeah, of course I like movies,” you said, the smile from his last joke fading from your face. “Do you like…” He made a Dracula face, hands and all. “… scary movies?” “Sure, I guess,” you answered, wondering where this was going. “Great!” he chirped, bounding up from the couch… and taking your hand and pulling you along with him. “Woah, woah, wait!” you said, but he was zooming through partygoers too fast for you to make him stop. “Where are we going?” “To my place! To watch scary movies!” You weren’t sure how comfortable you were with that, especially when you realized that he’d be driving, but it didn’t appear as though you had a say in the matter, so you went along with it. And surprisingly enough, he was a very good driver… and lived in a nice house which he apparently lived in by himself. And so you found yourself plopped on the couch next to Kris, watching some obscure horror movie from the 1960’s or 70’s. In perhaps the most amusing thing he’d done all night, every time the scary music began, Kris leaned into your shoulder, asking you to tell
him when it was over. You began to suspect that maybe Kris didn’t actually give a shit about you and only needed someone to watch movies with… until you realized that every time he curled up to you, his face got lower and lower. When he began to get a little too low, you patted your shoulder. “Up here, buddy.” Kris pulled away, regardless of the fact that someone was being murdered on the screen, and pouted. “Aww, you ruin all my fun!” You smiled and pulled the pillow from next to you out, hitting him in the head. “Hey!” he shouted. “This is war! No… this is Sparta!” And with that proclamation, he lept on top you tickling you all over until you were begging for mercy. “Say uncle!” “Uncle!” you cried, laughing hysterically. “What? Didn’t quite catch that.” “Uncle!” “Louder!” “Uncle!” The tickling stopped, thank goodness, only for you to realize that, in the process of tickling you, Kris had straddled you and was now bent inches from your face. “Oops,” Kris whispered when he realized the same thing, but your eyes had met his and he didn’t seem able to move them away. You couldn’t resist - you made the first move, entwining your fingers in his hair and bringing him down onto your lips, loving the electric spark that ensued. He do too apparently because
for a good long while neither of you paid any attention to the movie. And when you had woken up on the couch the next morning, the wafting smell of pancakes had greeted you. After you had your clothes back on, you found the kitchen, where Kris had pancakes in the works - and flour everywhere. “Oh hi!” he said, when he saw that you were there. “I kinda had a little accident, but the pancakes will be good, I promise!” And they had been - the morning had been good too, not nearly as awkward as you would have thought. In fact, at the end of the whole thing, you had traded numbers and he had called you as you walked down the driveway to tell you that he missed you. In the three weeks since then you’d seen each other once for lunch - you always seemed to be busy when he was available - but the one time had been awesome. You’d nearly snorted soda out your nose from laughing so hard, even though you weren’t feeling good, and he’d left you with a big, sloppy, memorable kiss at the end. But now?
Now this. Your mind whirled as you left the office. What would happen now? You hadn’t really considered Kris a serious boyfriend in the sense that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him… And even if you did, could he handle a baby? The guy could hardly handle himself sometimes, it seemed. You’d have to figure something out before… But too late. You almost knew as your cell phone rang who it would be. And you were right. “___! Hi! What’s shakin’?” “Uhh… hi Kris. Not too much…”
“Sweet! You free tonight?” “Umm… yeah.” But you knew if you had to wait until tonight, you’d only be a bundle of nerves the entire time. “Actually, Kris? Are you free right now?” “Now? Sure, just gotta finish this game of Halo. Are you okay?” Ah, so he wasn’t completely oblivious. “Umm… well, no, not exactly. I’ll tell you when I see you.” “Kay.” “Where should we meet?” “The moon?” “No, seriously.” “I was being serious. Fine, if that doesn’t work for you, how about my place?” “Fine, whatever,” you said, already heading in that direction. “I’ll be there in two minutes. No Halo when I get there.” “Aww, there you go ruining my fun again! Fine!” You hung up, shaking your head. This was going to be a disaster. You had the same mentality when he flung open the door and enveloped you in a bear hug two minutes later.
You gently detached yourself, walking past him and sitting on that infamous couch. He must have known something was up, because he quietly followed you and sat down beside you, legs folded up beneath him. “Listen, Kris, no jokes for now, we have to have a serious talk.” He looked visibly uncomfortable. “You’re not going to break up with me are you? Because I…” “No, no, not that. Well… not completely.” This didn’t seem to ease his mind; you noticed he was fidgeting with the hole in his pants like mad. “All right, listen, here’s the deal. I was just at the doctor’s and he said that I’m pregnant. Uhh.. we’re pregnant.” You hadn’t been looking at him while you told him this, but when he didn’t immediately answer, you glanced up at him. He was staring at you, mouth agape. “Are you serious?” he said, and you couldn’t tell if he was denying it or maybe just hating it. “Ummm…. Yeah.” He exploded in a whirlwind - but not in the reaction you had expected. In a flash he was up on the couch, arms above his head, wooping for joy. Before you had a chance to react, he was catapulting himself over the couch and doing victory laps around the house, yelling the entire time. You watched in half appalled surprise,
not even sure what to think, and then suddenly he was bearing down on you, whirling you around in a flying hug. “Oh crap, I’m sorry!” he said, pulling back. “Sorry!” He bent down to your stomach and shouted, (see part two)
